Healing Narcissism
and

Codependency

Healing Narcissism
and

Codependency

A comprehensive online course to

help you heal from the confusion of

narcissistic and codependent relationships

with

Listen to our Intro Call:
All About Narcissism & Codependency

      All+About+Narcissism+and+Codependency+-+2-3-17

“I signed up for this course because I wanted practical tools to really live in the world – life skills I can use so I’m not overtaken by my relationship. That’s what’s been missing from other courses I’ve taken, including in-person counseling. I know my problems, but no one has offered skills like you have – to change us from wounded children into normal adults in a healthy relationship. Thank you!”
~ Lori M., Denver, Colorado

  • Do you have narcissistic tendencies?
  • Have you been called codependent?
  • Have you been in a difficult relationship with a narcissist or a codependent?
  • Is it possible to heal your own narcissistic or codependent traits?
  • Can you help someone else who has these tendencies?

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism is extreme self-focus, or self-absorption – putting one’s own needs and desires ahead of everyone else’s. It appears as a wide spectrum of behaviors, from doing whatever you want, regardless of the impact on others, to the extreme behavior of using other people as objects for your own benefit.

What is Codependency?

Codependency is extreme other-focus, or self-sacrificing – putting another person’s needs first and ignoring your own.  It appears as a wide spectrum of behaviors, from putting up with their annoying quirks to sacrificing yourself completely to please the other person, often for the sake of the relationship or family.

 

These two words –narcissism and codependency – can be used to judge, label or diminish other people. This kind of judgment may create feelings of shame or guilt, which only serves to further inflame the relationship.

 

These patterns are most often rooted in our subconscious defense strategies developed in early childhood. When you approach them with understanding and compassion, you can begin the process of healing and recovery. It requires a commitment to curiosity and learning, confronting the past, and making the necessary behavioral changes.

 

Almost everyone can be self-absorbed or self-sacrificing at times. We get so focused on ourselves, or our work, that we ignore the people around us. Or we get so absorbed by another person that we forget about our own needs. We may stay too long in an unhealthy relationship. These complex dynamics are part of our human nature. If the patterns are interfering with your happiness or productivity, you can learn to change them.

Disclaimer: Healing Narcissism and Codependency is not a psychological diagnostic assessment. All references to narcissism and codependency are intended to educate the general public about normal tendencies, traits, and patterns that influence our relationship dynamics. This material is not designed to analyze personality, nor provide professional diagnoses of medical or psychological disorders or diseases.  

 

See complete Disclaimer below.

What Love Is

We should be taught the Basic Building Blocks of Love when we are young. Unfortunately, most of us missed that important lesson. Because our parents’ love was mixed up with their own needs, frustrations, and negative love patterns, we became confused. We didn’t learn how to get our needs met in a mutually beneficial and healthy way. You did the best you could at the time, and this became the foundation of your life-long relationship patterns.

 

As a child, you figured out what to do to get the attention and love you needed from your parents and caregivers. You experimented to find out which behaviors worked, and what didn’t work. It’s likely that you repeated many of those patterns, right into your adult relationships. Many of them don’t work, and some of them can damage your relationships.

 

Here’s some good news: It’s never too late to begin rewiring your brain and your relationship patterns into healthier patterns. These new behaviors will bring you into secure, mature relationships with your spouse, children, friends, and co-workers.

 

In this 10-part program, we offer you a chance to get re-educated about love – a new view based on the Neuroscience of Relationship. We help you see into the root causes of your old, unworkable patterns. We show you how to re-program and update your old Relational Operating System. We provide specific practices you can use to create more security and passion in your primary relationship. This practical approach can save a relationship that’s on the rocks, or set a new foundation for success in your next relationship.

 

The Healing Narcissism and Codependency program will show you the causes underneath your relationship challenges, and give you practical remedies to bring secure love back into your life.

AdobeStock_107842160-borderThe word narcissist is often used as shorthand for the clinical diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

 

The word codependent is sometimes used to refer to Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD).

 

Both NPD and DPD are serious psychological conditions that require help from a professional clinician trained to work with these disorders.

 

We use these words differently – to refer to behaviors and relational strategies that can appear in any relationship. We refer to “normal narcissism” and “normal codependency” – behaviors and strategies that can show up within a very wide spectrum, from mild, to moderate, to severe.

 

On the mild-to-moderate side of the spectrum, both narcissistic and codependent behaviors can interfere with personal and professional relationships. (If a person consistently shows up on the extreme side of either tendency, they should see a licensed clinician trained in this field.)

The Healing Narcissism and Codependency program is dedicated to helping people heal the mild-to-moderate “normal” range of these traits by learning to understand their roots, and changing day-to-day behaviors toward healthy and fulfilling interactions.

 

Many of us struggle with these tendencies. We can drop into either extreme – self-focus or self-sacrifice –  if we feel overwhelmed or insulted. We may become unkind, or withdraw from someone we love, or tolerate another person’s unkind behavior “just to get along.”

 

On one side of this spectrum, a person may focus on taking care of themselves so intensely that they forget to care for other people as well. On the other side, they may take care of others so well that they forget to care for their own needs. These are two sides of the same coin – an imbalance of care.

 

Many couples exhibit these two tendencies as a matched set. One partner tends toward selfish, self-absorbed behavior, and the other exhibits selfless traits, wearing themselves out in the process of over-caretaking. And many of us are hybrids – a mixture of both strategies which we employ at different times. Some people swing wildly from one extreme to the other.

 

In a healthy relationship, there is a sense of balance and mutuality. Both individuals’ needs are of equal value and importance.

If your relationship has:

  • More fights and reactions than feelings of secure love
  • Too much hurting of each other without an equal amount of repair
  • Not enough pleasure and too much pain
  • Feels more threatening than safe

… it’s time to get some support and re-education.

 

Your negative reactions CAN be re-programmed.  Rewiring your old neural pathways requires two simultaneous actions: 1) learning and study to achieve understanding, and 2) practice of specific behaviors to re-wire your relationship dynamics.  This is what we offer in Healing Narcissism and Codependency.

 

What You Will Receive

You’ll get instant access to all ten audio recordings plus all the bonus material. Listen to each class at your own convenience, and your own pace. Share them with your partner!

 

Bonus materials include helpful handouts and deepening exercises, showing you how to apply the principles in your daily life. You’ll also get interviews with experts and links to other educational material for further study.  Download the entire package onto your computer to review anytime, and keep forever.

Module 1

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:

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  • What is narcissism, and how does it appear?
  • What is codependency, and how does it appear?
  • How these traits negatively impact relationships.
  • Determine where you (or your partner) fall on the spectrum, from mild to moderate to severe.

Module 2

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN: 

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  • How your early childhood experiences influenced your own narcissistic or codependent behavior patterns.
  • How your early family experiences created your unique LoveStyle™ (relational attachment pattern).
  • The four LoveStyles:
    • Secure Attachment
    • Insecure-Anxious
    • Insecure-Avoidant
    • Insecure-Traumatized

Module 3

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN: sail-couple-shutterstock_372482113-647

  • What we can learn from the neuroscience of relationship, and how to rewire your brain and behaviors toward secure functioning.
  • How to recover from dysfunctional patterns and find your way back to positive self-esteem.
  • How to use new choices and behaviors to create healthier, happier relationships.

Module 4

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN: beach-couple-shutterstock_372481828-647

  • The Basic Building Blocks of Love
  • What love IS, and what love ISN’T.
  • How your early childhood conditioning set you up with behavioral strategies you still employ today.
  • How to upgrade your “Relational Operating System.”

Module 5

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN: Couple-beach-backs-shutterstock_92275120-647

  • The core beliefs that run your personality and behavior patterns.
  • How to change your beliefs to shift your perceptions, your experiences, and your relationship to others.
  • An introduction to the Clear Beliefs Process, which you can use to delete limiting and negative beliefs from the core of your psyche.

Module 6

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN: couple-talk-AdobeStock_99852746-647

  • How to reduce emotional triggers and automatic reactions to others’ narcissistic or codependent behavior.
  • How to melt core beliefs – even if they’ve been there for a lifetime.
  • Lion and Carista demonstrate the techniques and practices with volunteer participants.

Module 7

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:

  • Powerful emotions that lie beneath narcissistic and codependent behaviors: shame, guilt, anger, hatred and fear.
  • How your childhood circumstances and beliefs created your emotional reactions and defense strategies.
  • A list of common experiences in childhood that can create the feelings of shame or guilt – and how to heal them.

Module 8

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN:

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  • How to tie it all together with The True Self Recovery Program™ – a map that integrates all of our themes together.
  • A long-term vision of the path to healing codependent and narcissistic tendencies.
  • The challenges of vulnerability, and how it deepens the healing process.
  • A true remedy: Offering loving attention to all aspects of ourselves, and to each other.

Module 9

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN: woman-head-AdobeStock_78650565-647

  • The Brain: basic neurology, and how the brain responds to trauma and stress.
  • How to track your triggered reactions, and watch for their early warning signals.
  • How secure functioning practices can help you become more pro-relational – reducing reactions and threats, and increasing safety and pleasure.

Module 10

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN: 

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  • A review of our journey, and integration of all the concepts into a path of healing for you as an individual, in all of your relationships.
  • More laser coaching and answering questions from the audience.
  • Conclusion and next steps you can take on your healing journey.

“I can’t say enough positive things about this class! I had a huge revelation after class this week around my obsession with certain people. I can now see the pattern, which is about my father.  Now I understand why my mind does this, enough to BREAK this annoying obsessive thought loop. I’ve been wired to focus outside myself!! Now I can turn my attention toward myself.  I’m kind of jumping for joy over here!!  Your work is impacting my life in profound ways.”  ~ Leslie T. 

When you study the roots of narcissism and codependency, and observe how they show up in your relationships, your options expand. You grow in your self-awareness, and you can change your behavior. This is a practical way to heal – and mature. You can rewire your early programming, and learn to express your true nature as a loving being – even if the other person in your life never changes.

 

Radically improve your relationship style by learning to balance your orientation toward yourself and others. Expand your capacity to care and repair, and your relationships will improve. You can consciously create the secure, healthy love you’ve always wanted.

The live class was priced at $647.  This recorded version, with all 20+ hours of in-depth classes and resource material, is available for a limited time for only $197 – a savings of $450!

Save $50 by purchasing the 10-part Full Program now.

(Purchasing the Mini-Program now, and upgrading later, costs a total of $249.)

Receive instant access to all 10 recordings – more than 20 hours of in-depth education – which you can listen to at your convenience. You’ll also receive helpful handouts, deepening exercises, and bonus materials, which you can download to your computer, and have access to use anytime.

When you order,

you’ll also receive these bonuses:

  • The Narcissism Primer, an excellent introduction to the topic of narcissism – from the male point of view. (eBook)
  • A recording of our interview on male narcissism from the Conscious Men Summit.
  • A recorded interview between Carista and Lion, discussing How to Create Secure and Passionate Love.
  • The LoveStyle Profile Quiz™ – A personalized assessment of your own unique attachment style, along with a 6-page report about all the LoveStyles. Your partner can also take the Quiz, so you can compare results and come to understand each other better.

When you repair and restore your own self-esteem and inner balance, you will improve all of your relationships. You’ll become more masterful in the art of giving and receiving secure love.

 

Our programs are designed for people like you who want healthy, fulfilling love in their life, but are caught in common, everyday relationship struggles. We provide education and practices that empower you to change your codependent or narcissistic behaviors.  This enables you to heal the pain and confusion of the past, and create secure, loving relationships.

“Your program was ‘holographic’ – you met me at many different levels of awareness. I can now see how these two dynamics – narcissism and codependency – have lived in my subconscious and showed up in my relationships…  I’ve gained discernment about how to create healthier relationships in the future, and plan on creating more fun and aliveness from here on out!”  ~Beth T., Vancouver, Canada

More about Narcissism and Codependency

If you fall into the narcissistic spectrum, you’ve probably seen how easily you can drop into preoccupation with yourself, to the point where you forget about others’ needs and feelings. It may happen when you get triggered by someone, or upset with your circumstances. When you want to achieve a goal, you may set aside the needs of others in order to move yourself forward. It’s only a problem if you forget to come back and repair the damage you’ve done by being self-absorbed.

 

If you fall into the codependent spectrum, you may tend to give up your own needs to preserve a relationship, or to belong to a group – to your own detriment. You may tolerate another person’s unkind behavior, walking on eggshells to avoid conflict, rather than stand up to the unfairness. If this feels like self-sacrifice, where you’re getting hurt in the deal, it’s time to change it.

 

Narcissism and Codependency are two sides of the same coin.  Either trait limits your ability to experience secure, loving relationship with another person.

We shine a light on these complex subconscious patterns, and show you how to create the positive alternative: healthy, secure, collaborative love:

  • Care for yourself AND the other person in a balanced way.
  • Include the other person’s concerns and preferences in all of your choices and actions.
  • Make sure that your needs AND the other person’s needs are being taken care of.
  • Ensure that both you and your partner feel respected, secure, and cherished.

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If you’ve ever been caught in a hurtful or over-whelming relationship, the first step is to learn how you got there. The second step is to learn how to avoid those behaviors in the future.

 

If you are not currently in a relationship, you can prepare yourself for a healthier relationship in the future. You’ll be more aware of your own traits and vulnerabilities, and have clarity as to the type of partner you need as you grow and heal yourself. You can create the relationship that you’ve always wanted!

 

Join us for this powerful 10-part learning experience! Walk more confidently along your healing path. Gain powerful new tools for creating a dependable, safe, and loving relationship.

We’ll show you specific methods and

practices to clear these patterns out of your life:

  • A hurtful relationship with someone who doesn’t care about their impact on you.
  • Repeated attractions to the wrong kind people.
  • A narcissistic parent whose self-absorption makes you feel like crap when you’re around them.
  • An unhealthy or negative relationship that you’ve stayed in for far too long.
  • A relationship with a narcissist who doesn’t let you have your voice or feelings.
  • A codependent relationship where you give and give, and don’t get anything back.

Wherever you are in your relationship journey, learn more about your traits and tendencies, your feelings and vulnerabilities. Gain clarity about the kind of partner that can support you and love you in a healthy and dependable way.

 

In this course, you’ll open up new possibilities for your life, and provide practical techniques for healing. Knowledge is power. When you practice new behaviors, you can create long-term change. Avoid stepping into the same old traps, and learn to express your true nature as a wise, loving being.

 

Remember, you can change – even if the other person in your life doesn’t join you in the effort. Learn to create healthy relationships in which you can give and receive healthy love – for the rest of your life.

What People are Saying:

“Thank you again for the understanding and tools we can use to heal our lives.  Everything you shared has been so valuable to me!  The practical examples you offered about how to create a healthy, safe relationship, and how it looks and sounds, opened a whole new world for me.  Your wise words have been like beacons to guide me every day.  It’s a new point of reference, different than all I have known in my lifetime.  Now I can conceive what is possible.  I am so very grateful.”
~ Giulia L., Assisi, Italy

“You taught us how to heal the past, love in the present and trust in our future. Years of struggle had left me convinced that a fulfilling connection between two people was an unrealistic ideal. You’ve cracked the code on this elusive quest. Your work as a couple is truly the missing link for couples, and an inspiring example of what is possible in a secure, loving relationship.”
~ Howard J., CEO, Entrepreneur, Board Chairman

“The content and wisdom you delivered during the course felt embodied and compassionate. When you shared your own struggles and successes, it highlighted the remarkable healing that’s available when you’re willing to confront your patterns and move into a more accepting, intimate and loving place. You’ve guided me through the roadblocks of my lifelong patterns. I finally feel released from these habituated patterns. I’m so grateful for this offering, and I recommend it to anyone who has been touched by these traits.”
~ Holly Woods, PhD, Integral Master Coach & Consultant

“Thank you both for generously sharing your knowledge, expertise, and vulnerability. It was informative, illuminating, and a transformative experience for me. I have a greater sense of my own narcissistic and codependency traits, and how to heal them. I now understand how to intentionally behave differently in relationships from this point forward. Having both your male and female perspectives brought balance and strength to the course.”
~ John S., Le Grand, California

“This program was AMAZING. Thanks to both of you for offering such clarity, authenticity, and wisdom. I love that you’re in the world, and hope to bring you to my city to teach a workshop here!”
~ Leslie B.

“You collaborated effectively to show how narcissism can pose challenges for individuals and their relations with others. You broke down the likely causes of narcissism, and clearly addressed ways to change those behaviors, strategies and beliefs. I can now see a path toward becoming more securely functioning as a spouse, parent, friend and co-worker. Narcissists have a reputation for being very difficult to heal. You guys showed that with knowledge, insight, will and determination, narcissists can heal and improve their lives and the lives of those they love. Thank you for giving us narcissists hope!”
~ Will N.

“You’re both very inspiring and I especially love that you’re charting these terrifying waters and giving us a map so we can find our way.  Much love to you both.”
~ Jennifer P.

“This course has been very good for our couple bubble.  He’s really practicing reaching out towards me more – which is such a delight for me and for him!  I deeply appreciate your kind & generous hearts!”
~ Candace K.

“In other courses I’ve taken, it feels like the experts are just talking out loud, and I’m expected to grab whatever bits of wisdom I can, and patch them together in order to learn something. In this course, you provided a framework I could use to organize my learning. You really want your students to learn and integrate the wisdom you offer.”
~ Diane M.

“I loved the course. This is a fantastic offering for therapist-coaches like me.”
Bev T.

“I immediately incorporated one thing from today’s call, and used it with my kids. It worked wonders. The idea was, “It’s okay to feel how you’re feeling.” This simple concept had an amazing impact on my interactions with my teenage son. He was upset about a consequence I had given him. Accepting his feelings, and making them okay, enabled him to move through it more quickly than ever before. My gratitude to both of you for the gifts you share with us each week.”
~ Teri C

“This program is so powerful – more like a university degree program, or a lifetime of study, rather than a telecourse.  I feel like I’ve ripped the band-aid off of my lifetime of wounding. I want to heal these old patterns by practicing what you taught: being more vulnerable in my relationship, and staying connected in order to feel safe. It’s a steep uphill climb, but I feel like I really have the tools now.”
~ Diane C.

The live class was priced at $647.  This recorded version, with all 20+ hours of in-depth classes and resource material, is available for a limited time for only $197
– a savings of $450!

Save $50 by purchasing the 10-part Full Program now.
(Purchasing the Mini-Program now, and upgrading later, costs a total of $249.)
Receive instant access to all 10 recordings – more than 20 hours of in-depth education – which you can listen to at your convenience. You’ll also receive helpful handouts, deepening exercises, and bonus materials, which you can download to your computer, and have access to use anytime.

Disclaimer: Healing Narcissism and Codependency is not a psychological diagnostic assessment. All references to narcissism and codependency are intended to educate the general public about normal tendencies, traits, and patterns that influence our relationship dynamics. This material is not designed to analyze personality, nor provide professional diagnoses of medical or psychological disorders or diseases. We do not diagnose or advise about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), nor Codependent Personality Disorder, serious psychological conditions that require professional guidance, support, and therapy.  The Healing Narcissism and Codependency course material is not a substitute for professional advice. If you are being hurt or harmed by someone you believe may have NPD or CPD, or if you are harming yourself, or if you believe you may have the symptoms of either syndrome, we strongly advise you to get help from a licensed professional who specializes in NPD or CPD.  If you feel so triggered or overwhelmed that you cannot resolve your situation by yourself, contact a professional therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist or counselor who can help you address your feelings and concerns.

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